to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
