Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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