She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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