he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
