you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
