I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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