If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
