porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
