I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize