pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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