i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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