seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
