Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
