im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
