the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
