when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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