I looked at my own cervix.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize