Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
