One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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