It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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