There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
