Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
