I am in a vortex of obligation.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
