idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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