I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
