I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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