I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
