OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
