I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
