didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's official drugs can't kill me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
