DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
