weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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