yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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