how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
