she smelled like a LAN party
Princesses don't give blow jobs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
