If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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