then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
COCAINE IS GR8
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