so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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