I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize