Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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