Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
