She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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