That's intense
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
