if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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