after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
