No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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