its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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