I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
