god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize