Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
