Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Will you blow on my dice?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize