I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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