I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
