the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Every concussion has its silver lining
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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