I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
