If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
