my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
