I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
