she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i came on her dog
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
