We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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